The Wall

So close
And yet, so very far away
When we’re together you always
Let go, get up and go
When I wish you’d just
Hold, and stay
And together isn’t nearly often enough anymore.
Most of the day
And all night long
You are right there
And yet, a whole world apart.
I accidently run into you
As much as possible
Try my damndest to make happenstance
A regularity
And go through all the pains of beauty
At the mere proposition of a late-night rendezvous
I can almost see you
Almost hear you
Almost touch you
Almost be with you
We are together in our solitude
Joined by technology
Mostly meaningless conversations
(During which you’ve called my “my dear” thrice,
“dearie” once, and
—This I treasure—
once, even “my love”)
But separated by this infernal wall
It’s the only thing that stands in my way
Fear of rejection, of change
Of your beautiful laughter at my expense
Though I know you wouldn’t be like that
I can’t bring myself to bust the wall down
Tear it to the ground
Descend and come up—go around
So I love the wall
And I hate the wall
Blow it kisses
And berate the wall
I covet silence in attempts to hear you
Hoping that you can’t hear me
Wishing that you can
Wondering if you feel what I feel
If you know it’s all for you
If you can read between my lines
If you can sense that every “mi amigo”
Strives to be a “mi amor”
But amor, love is a lie
Love must wait
For love, it knows no walls.