So Beautiful

Most people look at you
Pale, thin, curled up around yourself
I take that back
Most people look right through you
And mark you as
Empty
Not fully in this world
Or in any other, for that matter
A loner who deserves
Only a trifle of their attention
I guess I’m not like most people
Because every time I look at you
I have to fight the urge
To reach out and touch you
To see if you’re really real
Or if I just conjured you up
To hurt myself
Like I did with everything else
Well, if you are just a dream,
I beg of you
Never wake me
Because every time I look at you
I get weak
A part of me sighs
I can’t hold out for long
Before I give in to the desire
My skin meets yours and I am relieved
At the same time, I am amazed
That someone so perfect
Could be so tangible
Every time I look at you
You bring tears to my eyes
You’re so beautiful
And I know that I’m not worthy
But still I can’t resist
You’re so beautiful
That every time I look at you
Or hear your voice
Or think or dream of you
I have to remind myself that you’re broken
Well, not every time
Sometimes that fact is so obvious
That I marvel at the fact
That I’d forgotten
That you’re shattered
No matter the beautiful designs the cracks have formed
You’re a tragedy
It hurts, but not watching hurts even more
Loving you hurts, but not loving you would tear me apart
And my world would be empty
Without your beautiful soul to paint my sky
Without Beauty, all that’s left is the Beast
Under all the darkness, I found your beauty
I found heaven in your heart
But you’ve damned yourself
Inside that goddamned darkness
And I struggle with myself on whether or not to get you out
Most of the time, I just hold you and try to heal the cracks you have
You seem to like fighting down there
But every time it looks like the darkness
Is winning the battle
I jump in, growling
Teeth bared
Protecting you so that you can crack no more
I crack for you, instead
I wasn’t planning on that
The more I try to hold your world up
The more my own caves in
It’s not fair
It’s just not fair
But I can take it
You, however, I’m not so sure about
You need more than I can give you
Even this poet
Can’t rewrite your tragedy
The blind can’t lead the blind
Even so, I will never stop trying to save you
I’ll always wrap my arms around you
At the first sign of a new crack
Because I’m the only one who knows not only
How soft you are to the touch
But how jagged you are on the inside as well
We fight the same battle
On the same side
Though we go about it in very different ways
We are struggling to reach the same goal
Though I cannot name it
I know not what it is we’re searching for
All I know is that you’re so beautiful
You have a beauty I can’t live without
And so, despite all the risks and fears
I will hold on to you
Through all the laughter, fears, hopes, dreams, and tears
I will fight for you all through the years
But will it be all for naught?
Do two tragedies make a drama with a happy ending
Or just a beautiful disaster?